"umm..."

"...you and I cannot be friends."

She stared as me, blank look on her face, obviously bewildered.

"You're a girl you see, and I don't 'friends' with girls, can't trust them you see."

Mouth wide open.


This was me about 6months back with girl 'Y'. LOL. She made me laugh sometimes, and I still get the jokes now about playing Badminton with her mum for about 3months after we broke up. LOL

Yeah, this friendship thing puts me onto my next bunch of ideas. Friends mean a great deal to me. I attempt to treat them in a way I expect to be treated. Sadly, I never get anywhere near as much back as I give - and its the few who suprise me that become close with me.

I'm someone who passes judgement on people very early on. First impressions really do count. Often people tell me that its a weakness - I tend to think of it as a tool. A gut feeling about someone. When a girl comes over to me (and my first reaction is "what a slag") I tend not to forget about it even after she tells me how much of a descent girl she is, and how she's gonnna get better A-Level grades than I (not hard i grant you)

which is why I guess I thought so highly of Kate. She struck me as an individual who was honest and true. I happen to think my judge of character is quite good, but i have to admit - its been wrong on some occasions - for which I have paid a heavy penalty.

So, I value my friends - big time. They are rewarded for being there for me. As the closest of you know, I rely on my friends when the "manure hits the air-conditioning system." Which is why I keep in contact with about 10 of my school friends and about 10 or so best friends from 'out there'.

Following on - girls i simply dont do. sure i go to the cinema with them, chill over coffee sometime or if they're lucky sleep with them, but do i trust them half as much as i do guys? Fuck No.

I ain't gay or anything, but I really think the human race would be a great deal more advanced if women were just there to make babies. Women are a distraction. A nice distraction dont get me wrong, but the ones ive met are just a waste of time. In terms of spending any great amount of time with, the girls i know aren't worth my time. Am i being big-headed? not yet, wait till u read the next line.....

I'm just too good for the vast majority of them out there.

(Hows that for blowing your own trumpet)

Pure example - I go out on the 'pull' and I meet girl A. (she's the one i met the week before last) Soon after kissing her, she goes to the bar and comes back with a drink and apologises. Having read her body language, it was clear she was all over the place. She apologised and said she wasn't telling the truth about her age. crap.

Girls lie. At times i think they're a parasite. walking around bars, clubs, even at work waiting for thier next unsuspecting victim, the next guy to ride - to buy drinks for...maybe even worse...

And why do we continue to buy them drinks (im guilty of this) and 'chat'?

This il have to ponder overnight.

Nish wants me out tomorrow night. I wanna find a girl. yet to figure out what type. My mood at the moment means there are two types:

- independant girl, looking for a good looking guy to pull or get laid that night
- nice girl, little inside herself, generally looking for long-term relationship, or to meet Mr. Nice Guy.

I think il try and find myself a girl of the first type, i think i need to get it out of my system before trying for a girl of the latter type...

xxx