Photos down

As funny as they were, I have needed to take the photos from Saturday night offline. I hope to bring them back up in the future at some point.

Perhaps when I have a Macintosh running as a webserver :)

Might blog later on tonight!

F

:)

Night Report 13/1/2007
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So Chris B came up from London to have a night out in St. Albans. I was careful not to make such a fuss about about it - because when you do something like that, they always turn out to be pretty shit right?

How wrong was I?

Moods were high from the begginging. Its been since New Years Eve that Iv seen Chris. Our friendship is quite an odd one - mainly due to how it started really. However - the man is genuine amazing bloke. An individual I can happily make time for. Unlike some of those mentioned in a few of my recent blogs...

Got better from the moment he came really. The Bell was visited by many cute girls out there. As I parked the car in the car park, I told Chris how I planted different aftershaves on each wrist as a ice-breaker (read that in The Game). You lot know me. Very little confidence when it comes to women. But I figured 'What the hell, what have I got to loose'?

I soon used this in passing on some girls passing by. Worked a charm. We were exchanging names and life details seconds later. Didn't catch any IOI's so closed off and got me some drink.

Confidence was slowly building. The 'What the Hell' attitude is a dangerous one at times. It can motivate me to do some pretty 'unlike' Firas' things. Bumped into a great looking blonde and started talking about some idiot bloke breakdancing. She talked about how at songs like these (the 'Push it real good' song played) someone always breakdanced. badly. (reminded of rat-face Myles - told Ben who was in hysterics seconds after seeing this twat last night)
After that, we cross-introduced. 3 hours later I was being recorded kissing the Blonde. Got her number. As she went, I was sarging a half-chinese half english girl who looked very cute.

It's amazing how a little confidence can go a long way. I was quite depressed at Christmas, but seriously, that memory is such a blur today.

Good times.

I get Ben lecturing me about how I need to act younger all the time. Every now and then I listen to him. I dont think he's wrong, I just have a goal. I have a lot to be grateful for.

Peace

broken BT mouse

mum dropped it and I have no idea how to get it put together again. no obvious way of doing it. no remnants of glue.

Steam

First off, thanks for the comments. They were warming and it's nice to know I have support from places I'd never expected.

It's true, I was going through a bit of a tough time in that little head of mine, but I still stand by what I said. However, having spent a great deal of time on my own and thinking things through, perhaps at these times, I can be a bit more of a drama queen than I originally thought.

I have always hated the Christmas period. Perhaps hate is too strong a word. I have never enjoyed the Christmas period. Sure, there are some nice things about the 'Festive Season' but in all fairness, nobody's celebrating the guess birthdate of Christ - Christmas is simply an opportunity for the retail groups to make some cash before the end of the calendar year. I welcome those who 'properly' celebrate Christmas. I happily support and feel good about those religious enough to acknowledge the Christian values.

So much of society is washed with 'going with the flow'. People are too sheepish.

Anyway enough ranting, back to my situation earlier this week. I am a hard worker. I have an aim right now, and little else at the moment is receiving such focus. 2 Bedroom Flat in London. Simple as that. However, as much of a cliche as it is, I work hard, and play hard. I put the hours in, but need the time to let off the Steam accumulated.

I worked at the Merchant Bank again this week, pushing about 29 hours in 3 days. bear in mind, my TfL contract requires I work 35 in a week. As I said many times on my return, I hadn't worked so hard for over 4 months i.e. since my last stint at the bank.

So when Eid came this weekend, I was disheartened to find nothing was planned as a family on 'Our' celebration as Muslims. Perhaps rather dramatically, I had felt my family let me down as well as my friends this week. Hence the melodrama.

All work and no play makes Firas a miserable bastard. So Firas went to play. I drove to Guildford, and spent the day walking through the stores and watching people from Starbucks. I walked a long way, and visited some places pretty close to who I am. My old School, my old home and the areas I used to bike as a kid. Good times.

Went home to eat, but after a brief spat with Sayf, I decided I needed out. Firas went to play again.

I ended up walking nearly 10 miles in Central London. I used the excuse of setting my body clock for my night-shift at TfL as the reason for getting out of the house. I had barely eaten, but the need to be on my own was enough to skip the rest of dinner and drive to London. I walked along the Thames, and saw some of the preparation for New Years Eve. I was setup at Green Park the following night, so it was nice to get a glimpse of what they had planned for the celebrations on the Eye and near Big Ben.

Got home at half 3. Job well done. I had calmed down and got to grips with some things kicking up in my head. I had continued fighting the feeling of loneliness and the idea that had Caroline been there, I'd be in a far better position. A fault of hers was that she was always in your face, and never gave me room to be myself, but at least I knew I had someone to lean on, always.

Except it dawned on me, I missed someone, anyone, not just Caroline. I may have mentioned this before, but I missed the idea of having someone to hold. Naturally my thoughts directed towards Caroline, but to be fair, they're biased and need re-aligning.

Definitely the loneliest Christmas in memory.

Now, back to TfL. At this point, I really couldn't wait to get back into my normal routine. I missed the people at work, and the activities that defined my week. I had signed up for working New Years Eve as a Bus Guide/Operator. It worked at double pay plus £50. I was immediately hooked by the idea, and signed up for it with a colleague in a shot. New Year's Eve was such a farce. Like Christmas, each night is the same, except on this one night of the year, everyone descends to Trafalgar Square or the Thames. Big Night. Big Money. Lost of People.

Had a great time. Green Park is on the edge of Mayfair, lots of posh girls wearing gorgeous dresses smelling fabulous (quite a few wearing Caroline's scent, but that was ok). They were all kind, in great spirit and we were helping. I felt good about helping people get home. Oh, and the pay was great too. The colleagues (did my bit of networking) were good too, we shared a coach with the Met Police, who rarely mixed with us TfL lot. Bit of a shame really, but I guess they were forced to do this, whereas we all signed up voluntarily.

Got home at half 5 this morning, I woke up at 13:00 feeling like shit on a stick. But I've found a fry-up and coffee is great for that.

All in all, I'm back to normal self. Can't wait for work to start off again (although I have ironing to do) I'm nearing completion of 'The Game' by Neil Strauss. Pretty fucking good read. Can't put it down. Have a few ideas now that I've identified myself as an Obvious AFC. Being as hot as she is, Caroline must really have liked me, cos I look back at some of the thing's I did and think - 'how geeky and needy'!

Need to put Cat-String theory to the test. Give it a read very very interesting book :)

Thanks again guys,

F