To find what is Yours...

Hey all,

Its pretty late (01:30) on Sunday night. Just got back from watching one of the best films out - The Return of the King. Absolutely class.

One thing did come into my mind - are we all destined to find Love like that on the Big Screen? Will you and I meet somebody special to love for a lifetime?

Men (and the women) in that film have Honour and Respect. These things I find are lacking a great deal in Society. Where is the Honour in attaking a Police Officer? Where is the Respect in attacking those because of thier Race or Ethnic background?

What good is to be had in disallowing a Father access to his children. I have thought about these issues somewhat, and find failures in Society to blame. Fathers For Justice - a group that gets my support. ANY charity helping those in less fortunate circumstances - a blessing to those in need.

At a time where the population spends Millions (possibly Billions) on tacky and useless gifts, shouldn't we think about those outside of our normal reach? Any one seen a film called 'Pay it Forward'? Rent it from Blockbusters. Its good and significant.

One last thought before I rest.

Can anyone tell me if 'Kiss me Kate' is a Shakespearean play or not? Saw a brief snippit on BBC, interested in reading it, I do like my Shakespeare.

Good night, may God bless.

Lack of belonging

Hmmm

Went out last night, had a great time. All the usual faces + ones that have come back from Uni. Real good to see them, especially Peter Hambridge.

On a change of note - not thinking I'm gonna find a proper girl for a while. Well, for a start I dont think I'm looking in the right places. Heh - in Nish's drunken state he called Kate to prank - except our standards slipped and we gave ourselves away. He then carried on chatting - he told me she has a new Boyfriend. Cool. Must admit felt a bit funny about it all, but in fairness I've seen a number of girls since too.

Meh

Yeah, at times I feel I'm in a world of my own - others always pointing out im different in many ways. Fair play. I am, but I think I'm somone who loves it. Sticking out from the crowd. Just hope I find a girl who is the 'perfect fit'

when u think life's complicated enough - it takes you a 'notch' lower.

Have a good Christmas all.

Firas

The lazy weekend

Got up mid morning yesterday. felt great. in my warm cozy bed - e-maling friends and chilling. The only thing that could have topped that was a 15" PowerBook with an episode of Buffy or Friends playing.

Have noticed something about myself recently that i dont like. I am someone who always volunteers to help out - or get something for someone. So when I'm busy at work - and iv said il do somethig, i really feel bad, when i forget or just dont do it. Its happened a lot over the last few months:

Sayf's PC
Emil's Access Point
Dad's optition thing
Get car serviced
Call girl to arrange date

The list goes on and on. Some I have done - others need doing. I hope i can catch up over christmas. PowerMac seriously needed here. need to get it all sorted - i dont like breaking promises.

Seeya soon,

F

For one.

Just got back from watching a film with Nish & Mike. American History X. Great film. A film that makes you think.

Very emotional at the end, I pictured myself in the bigger brother's position as he held his younger brother dying in his arms. The thought of me holding Sayf like that brought me to tears in an instant.

I love you Sayf. Anything you need Anytime, I'm here.

F

Still not happy

Sorry for the lack of blogging ppl, been a hectice weekend!

Went to Liecester for Emil's 21st. Had a class time. VERY good to be with Ben and Myles. They are afterall two of my best mates - had we just sat in front of the TV it was bound to be a classic weekend!

Instead - we celebrated another of my best friends' 21st's. What a weekend! Emil got wasted - and apparently spiked his Spanish girlfriend's drink - but dont think Emil has it in him to do it - let alone when he's pissed! I actually blame Ben - who in fact drank a vast quantity of alcohol - even enough to put Kate to shame. I'm proud Ben! :)

My body still seems to want to remind me that I'm getting old - my back was aching throughout the whole journey, and my knee seems to have got worse, no idea why. I'd like to play basketball at the hoop nearby - but the weather and my knee seem to be holding me back.

Can't wait, the next few weeks are bound to be great! Get paid on Wednesday - not that I'm going to spend any of it, I'm officially starting to save for the Apple G5. I'm getting the cash in the account first, then putting the balance on a credit card with no interest for a year. sweet huh?

what else to mention - went to Watford today and was guilty of doing something a number of you out there wouldn't like (well Alex didnt like it) as to whether I'm going to put it up here or not, is another matter. [boots]

As the title of the blog suggests, things are not exactly 100%. Should be meeting with another girl this week, pulled her in Batch on thurs....yet to find out what she's like, hope she dont lie like girl C. So that makes it a grand total of about 7 girls in the same number of weeks - and none have seriously taken my fancy. Should I have made more of an effort with Kate? Must admit - have been thinking about her over the weekend, not sure why.

We'll find out what girl D has to offer, maybe I should start numbering them - this is getting confusing! Plan to go to Oxford Street this coming weekend, must promise myself NOT to take the bank cards with me. Saving for my baby afterall!

Have a good one folks,

Firas

"umm..."

"...you and I cannot be friends."

She stared as me, blank look on her face, obviously bewildered.

"You're a girl you see, and I don't 'friends' with girls, can't trust them you see."

Mouth wide open.


This was me about 6months back with girl 'Y'. LOL. She made me laugh sometimes, and I still get the jokes now about playing Badminton with her mum for about 3months after we broke up. LOL

Yeah, this friendship thing puts me onto my next bunch of ideas. Friends mean a great deal to me. I attempt to treat them in a way I expect to be treated. Sadly, I never get anywhere near as much back as I give - and its the few who suprise me that become close with me.

I'm someone who passes judgement on people very early on. First impressions really do count. Often people tell me that its a weakness - I tend to think of it as a tool. A gut feeling about someone. When a girl comes over to me (and my first reaction is "what a slag") I tend not to forget about it even after she tells me how much of a descent girl she is, and how she's gonnna get better A-Level grades than I (not hard i grant you)

which is why I guess I thought so highly of Kate. She struck me as an individual who was honest and true. I happen to think my judge of character is quite good, but i have to admit - its been wrong on some occasions - for which I have paid a heavy penalty.

So, I value my friends - big time. They are rewarded for being there for me. As the closest of you know, I rely on my friends when the "manure hits the air-conditioning system." Which is why I keep in contact with about 10 of my school friends and about 10 or so best friends from 'out there'.

Following on - girls i simply dont do. sure i go to the cinema with them, chill over coffee sometime or if they're lucky sleep with them, but do i trust them half as much as i do guys? Fuck No.

I ain't gay or anything, but I really think the human race would be a great deal more advanced if women were just there to make babies. Women are a distraction. A nice distraction dont get me wrong, but the ones ive met are just a waste of time. In terms of spending any great amount of time with, the girls i know aren't worth my time. Am i being big-headed? not yet, wait till u read the next line.....

I'm just too good for the vast majority of them out there.

(Hows that for blowing your own trumpet)

Pure example - I go out on the 'pull' and I meet girl A. (she's the one i met the week before last) Soon after kissing her, she goes to the bar and comes back with a drink and apologises. Having read her body language, it was clear she was all over the place. She apologised and said she wasn't telling the truth about her age. crap.

Girls lie. At times i think they're a parasite. walking around bars, clubs, even at work waiting for thier next unsuspecting victim, the next guy to ride - to buy drinks for...maybe even worse...

And why do we continue to buy them drinks (im guilty of this) and 'chat'?

This il have to ponder overnight.

Nish wants me out tomorrow night. I wanna find a girl. yet to figure out what type. My mood at the moment means there are two types:

- independant girl, looking for a good looking guy to pull or get laid that night
- nice girl, little inside herself, generally looking for long-term relationship, or to meet Mr. Nice Guy.

I think il try and find myself a girl of the first type, i think i need to get it out of my system before trying for a girl of the latter type...

xxx

Blood

The National Blood Service has been sending me letters for the past few weeks reminding me to hurry up and give them some blood. Of course they ask me in a nicer manner - but it feels like I've turned into one of thier blood factories. So people beware - if you dont carry any kind of STD's (or STI to be pollitically correct) dont sign up to the NBS!!

LOL

so I'm here, with my three failing computers. Need Chris to download Fedora Core 1 for me. Redhat 9 on this machine rather slow - using FireFox is quite tiresome - I blame the junk thats put on here - Fedora and redhat are the only distro I know of that runs X fine on this machine. I need an Apple PowerMac!

Sorry for the techincal blog - I smply feel techinical today. I'll get all moody on you all now!

As I follow the path that life takes me along - and I see parts of me from my past in other people in the present time. If that makes any sense whatsoever; I never thought I'd see that. I see weaknesses in other people that I can relate to - or suffered from myself in the past. This presents me with a problem - do I approach these people and tell them how I overcame the issue? or do I let them find out for themself - i.e. the way I had to do (in the majority of the the things I'm thinking about anyway)

There's my psychological theme for tonight's blog - hope ur impressed!

Now for that PPoE and the transfer of the FC1.iso by FTP over my WLAN here at 192.168.1.5

g'nite folks!

xxx

Leeds satisfying my Needs

Hey all,

I had written a blog whilst in Leeds, but thanks to Alex's crappy computer - i lost it while i tried to re-connect into her uni internet.

So, had a wicked weekend, the girls there were great - her flat mates were really rather attractive, most pleasant spending an evening with them! Leeds town centre was a good laugh - great nightlife, people weren't so friendly....but thats to be expected, the weather up there is a great deal worse!!

im at work at the mo, just using 5mins of my lunch - will run to the car to power nap (or take a winnie the poo) for 45 mins! :)

xxx

Not enough time in Life

Hey all,

Sorry for not blogging sooner, but I have been a busy bee for quite a while.....

Health-wise, my body has been kinda screwed. My back, my neck and for some strange reason, the back of my knee has been playing up a great deal. Today, I did something about it all after about 3weeks. I went to get some Accupuncture done. IT WORKS A CHARM! Instant pain relief! Go and get it done people!

Other bits of my life - hmmmm, work at 3Com has been great fun. Been plenty to get on with, which is nice, we have a unit which ran at about 104 degrees C!! This was a slight problem which required a teleconference to Taiwan to sort out. I think the porblems have now been ironed out - all good fun!

hmmmm, what else? Girls wise - LOL, been a bit busy on that front too - here goes. Met girl A before Amercia. Went to America, girl A seemed to have forgotten me. Fair enough. Met Girl B soon after my return to UK. Turns out, Girl B knows Girl A, and is worried that Girl A still likes me/i like her. Meanwhile, Girl C seems to be looking at me funny, and I think she still fancies me. Collegues at work want me to date Girl A and C at the same time....

Girls are easy to get. Simple Dimple. Good ones however are hard to find, and often stay attatched to thier first loves....dont yet apply to me yet, need to find myself a Girl D i think. My head is confused with all these girls. :( as for my heart....lets just not go there

Thinking of going back to the USA. I loved it. New York next January or February, not flying with BA for shit. Guys, the pound makes $1.93.....thats an exchange-rate thats too hard not to take advantage of!!!

The Incredibles was good fun, took girl B to see it. Still think about Girl Z every now and then. Wonder if Girl Y's mum still plays badminton.....might text girl Y sometime.....

Message of the day, Life is too short to let it go to waste. Everyday, we're getting closer to that fucking grave. Live Life.

Laterz

xxx