Sleep in thier arms....

Hey,

Its just gone twenty to two - just waiting for a text from Caroline before I grab some sleep - she left about 10mins ago - and i wont go to sleep until she returns safely.

So - what have i been up to today? Nish made his way back from Leeds - having tried to sort stuff out with the girl he was seeing - sadly it wasnt gonna work out - and it was ugly. He came over and seemed nearly in tears. I tried my best to cheer up the poor bastard, but with my conditin it was hard to do anything he was really gonna appreciate or love me doing.

I spent all afternoon with him - and let him go off on his merry way. I offered to watch DVD's with him tonight - but we got bored after 10mins of watching a film on my Mac that we went for a drive instead.

Had dinner - Caroline soon came and we chilled and played about - listened to music and chilled basically - we caught up with one another, then did the same a little more physically. I liked. Damn i love being with her. Too much? Probably, but i like it. I like her a lot and enough to know Im going to put a great deal of effort into this relationship - however, i dont wanna seem too OTT. Its a fine balance that il have to strike.

Great girl. Thanks for the ice cream hun.

xxx

uugggh

I'm tired - but cannot sleep. I'm hungry but canot eat. I'm pissed off - but have nobody to blame but myself (maybe Kate a little bit)

I had my Tonsils out on Tuesday afternoon. It was certainly an interesting experience.

First off there was the staff - most friendly - albeit a little slow (slower than me under sedation). Then there was the food - worse than one of my attempts at a sandwhich.

However - no matter what happened the facts remain. I now have to gaping holes either side of my throat - where food now collects. The whole tissue area is now white in colour - and is more painful than anything Ive known. See the thing is - when something aches - you normally take panadol - and grab a nap. Except with this u nap and sleep and spend 3days trying to get on with your life - and the pain is still there.

What a fcking pain in the arse eh?

I'm on something called Oramorph. Its a liquid based Morphine based prescription. Awfully strong stuff - but where I was left dazed for hours hving taken some of this magical solution - Im now left gagging for each dose. It seems its effects are shortening in time everyday. I know how this works - the body builds a rappor with the drug - requiring more to have the same effect.

I sometimes hate how i know stuff.

So my Girlfriend's ex is causing us grief. Not fun. God im tired. I cant do this tilll i can have more Morphine - can I? browsing for 2hours? shit.

yeah - keeping typing - the time'll fly F. Xbox 2 details out soon - that'll be nice. hmmmmsleeeeeep

xxxx

recap

first off, this laptop is fucking briliant - i think the screen could be a little brighter - but bear in mind Im making a comparison with a screen that cost more than this whole laptop.

right - seemed like a lot of last weeks blog was about our Missy Caroline.

I cant see any reason why I shouldnt continu the trend - Sunday went brilliantly. It was clear thigs were very tense up there. She initially didnt want me anywhere near where she lived - to ensure we werent seen by her friends. Thankfully one of her friend s helped us go up to her place largely unseen.

we spoke - chilled. one of her friends made us dinner which we appreciated a great deal - meant we didnt hve to venture out. I am geting very tired - but il pull through this lack of sleep - i need to do it - it'll be for me when I try and look back though all this!

So i wanted to find out how she though about things progressing - i had thought shed need time (what with her breaking up with her ex 4 days previous) but it soon became clear she didnt want time - she thought she was happy and ready. I did said i wouldnt make a move - to give er more time and to think things through, she saud she didnt ned it and wanted to know what i was waiting for!

i didnt - and i stayed till about half 1 in ger room. i decided to go - and she was being awkward about me going - we met again in the car park to ensure we werent sen together.

Then it hapened. I swear i idnt mean it to. We were hugging and she slapped me and a joke. Then remarked 'you weren't expecting that'. i replied no and pecked her on the lips - expecting to say heh - u werent expecting that...eexcept it quickly turned into a full blooded kiss!

We joked about it and she started calling me a liar - for actually making a move - i swear i hadnt - but i guess it just turned into one - we spent another haf an hour kissing. i nearly ran out of petrol on the way back cos i left the car on while we were kissing.....i love life...you never know what it has in store for you - its a little like one of those roller-coasters in the dark - Space Mountain comes to mind.

the next few days were spent txting and calling. i saw her again last ngiht. she down for her mums birthday this coming wednesday - she back for the bank holiday weekend too. im not complaining - i love when shes down here - when i can see her and not have to drive an hour and a half to get to my bed. She hasnt text me back - il o that to make sure she got in safely....

met her tonight with Mike today too. we chilled and messed about - generally spending quality time with the people i care for. Cant ask for anything more.

Love life too much. Thank-you.

il see all of you at some point - some, sooner than others - but above all else people, you have to be able to take the piss out of yourselves....